As soon as I was old enough to date, my father took me aside and gave me advice that I never forgot. He said, “Only date someone you think you could marry.” I’m sure many of us have heard something similar from their parents. And it’s no wonder because following this simple rule will set you up for great success in your spiritual walk with God.
First of all, choosing this standard says a lot about where you stand with God. If you are a Christian, then deciding who qualifies as “someone you could marry” becomes a mirror into your heart. A Christian’s greatest desire in life should be to get to heaven. So, who we choose to marry is very important in that goal. When God made a wife for Adam, Genesis 2:18 tells us He designed her to be “…a helper comparable to him” (Gen. 2:18). So, a Christian should date someone who will help them get to heaven.
But, what does it say about a Christian who dates someone with no regard for their spiritual destiny? They might be dating someone because they’re attractive, exciting, funny, smart, or popular. They might be dating because the person is just the one who said yes. While these might be things we consider when choosing a spouse, if this is the extent of their standards, then it might be that their goals are worldly instead of heavenly.
We should desire heaven like the faithful of Hebrews 11:13, who “…all died faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of the, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.” Christians don’t plan their lives around passing pleasures. They plan their lives around the eternal reward in heaven.
Secondly, choosing to only date someone you think you could marry changes how you behave with that person. If your standard is to date someone who gets you to heaven, you can’t start that journey while partaking in worldly lusts with them. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:18-19, “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?” If we choose to give in to temptation, then neither of the parties involved are going to get the other to heaven. But, someone who puts godliness before pleasure will.
Are you dating to marry? If not, then why are you? If you’re in a relationship that leads anywhere but heaven, is that a relationship you need to be in?