No one likes being caught in the middle of an argument, especially when it’s between your brethren in Christ. Often, even the best Christians fail to handle arguments privately, as our Lord described in Matthew 18:15-17, and will look for a friend to back them up.
This is not a situation a Christian wants to be in. We are supposed to love one another (John 13:34) and give preference to one another (Rom. 12:10). We cannot fulfill these commands by just backing up our buddy. We must judge righteously without partiality. So, what do you do when you’re asked to choose a side?
In Paul’s letter to Philemon, he explains to his “friend and fellow laborer,” Philemon, that he met Philemon’s runaway slave, Onesimus, while he was in prison. And, according to Paul, Onesimus was an unprofitable slave who may have wronged Philemon in some other way (vv. 11, 18). But, Paul taught him the gospel and now he is a fellow Christian.
This is not a comfortable situation to be in. Paul has a close relationship with both of these men who have a serious contention. But, they are supposed to be brothers in Christ now. The easy thing to do would be to throw your hands up and say, “It’s not my problem” and let them handle it. But that is not what Paul did. Instead, he evaluated the situation and mediated a reconciliation.
When Paul wrote to Philemon, he had already evaluated the situation. While Onesimus certainly wronged Philemon according to the law, he demonstrated his repentance by accepting the gospel and agreeing to return to his master (v. 12). So, he called for Philemon to forgive him and accept him as a brother (v. 15-16). In 1 Corinthians 6:1-6, Paul blasted the church in Corinth for taking each other to court instead of handling it themselves. No problems will be solved if we cannot make righteous judgments.
But it is not enough to just judge a situation and keep it to ourselves. If we have the opportunity, we must be willing to step in and mediate peace between our brethren (cf. Rom. 12:18). Paul wrote to Philemon, “…receive him as you would me. But if he has wronged you or owes anything, put that on my account” (v. 17-18). Paul was willing to help his brothers reconcile even if it cost him money. Because of Paul’s efforts, he was convinced Philemon would “…do even more…” (v. 21).
When we find ourselves caught in the middle of disagreeing brethren, we must be willing to foster peace. Let’s judge impartially and mediate wholeheartedly.